Aladdin: YGO Style!
by Takura2004
Summary: If it isn't THAT obvious, then the YGO cast takes the role of Aladdin characters, but makin' things screwy! PG13 for violence, and potty mouths. COMPLETED AND SOON EDITTED!
1. Arabian Nights

Aladdin: YGO Style!

It all started on a dark day in the studio of YGO. Everyone was tired and was about to go home until they saw... "Takura, what are you doing here?" Joey asked curiously.

"You're all here to act out one of my old, classical, favorite Disney movie, Aladdin!" Takura replied. Just then the cast stared at Takura for a second and dispersed (**1**). Takura held up a red, glowing director permission slip (**2**) and the gang came right back!

"What the heck?" Seto growled.

"You're all under my control! MUAHAHA!" Takura laughed. "Now, take these scripts! You'll need them! If you mess up the movie, you'll all be shot!" Takura withdrew a Rifle Beebe gun, ready to fire with 10 pumps! "You all have 45 minutes! Now go!"

The gang had no other choice but to concur with these conditions.

* * *

Cast:

Guards-Leader is Yami, others are Yami clones.

Beggar/ Jafar's servant-Tristian

Aladdin-Bakura (Both thieves!)

Jafar-Malik

Beggar Jafar-Solomen

Sorcerer Jafar-Marik

Snake Jafar-Electric Snake

Genie Jafar-La Jinn

Narrator-Shaadi

Iago-Small Harpy Lady

Sultan-Yugi (They're both short)

All forms of Genie-Joey

Jasmine-Ishizu

Abu-Small Bazoo, the Soul Eater

Three Beautiful Women-Tea, Serenity, and Tea

And the rest are themselves...

* * *

"HOLD ON!" Malik exclaimed "I find it sick that my yami has to hit on my sister!"

"I don't!" Takura disagreed, pointing at Marik and Shaadi fighting over who is a better boyfriend for Ishizu. Malik's jaw dropped.

35 minutes later...

"SHOWTIME EVERYBODY!" Takura shouted. Half the crew knew what the heck they were doing!

SHOWTIME!

(Cue 'Arabian Nights' and the sign of 'Bakura' and now in the desert)

**Oh I come from a land,**

**From a faraway place,**

**Where the caravan camels roam.**

**Where it's flat and immense,**

**And the heat is intense,**

**It's barbaric but hey, it's home!**

**When the wind's from the east,**

**And the sun's from the north...**

Pop goes the Beebe gun

**OW!**

**I mean west!**

**And the sand in the glass is right.**

**Come on down, stop on by,**

**Hop a carpet and fly,**

**To another Arabian night...**

**ARABIAN NNIIGGHHTTSS!**

**Like Arabian days.**

**More often than not,**

**Are hotter than hot!**

**In a lot of good ways!**

**ARABIAN NNIIGGHHTTSS!**

'**Neath Arabian moons.**

**A fool off his guard,**

**Could fall and fall hard,**

**Out there on the dunes...**

"Ah salami," Shaadi greeted but was shot again "I mean salaam...Please, come closer..." The camera closed in on Shaadi's face. "Too close, a little TOO close..." The camera then zoomed out a little. "There! Welcome to Agrabah, the town of mystery...enchanted, AND MAGNIFICIENT SALES (I really didn't hear him so...yeah...)!"

The sales and scene was going good and Shaadi began the tale of the lamp.

"It all began on a dark night, where a dark man waits, for a dark purpose..."

Malik awaited on a sand hill, waiting for Tristian, the beggar. "Where is he?"

Takura had let it slide.

Tristian came on his horse and slipped off. Malik sweat dropped but continued on. "You are late!"

"1,000 Apologies oh patient one..." Tristian said, standing up now.

"Do you have it then?" Malik asked, curiously.

"I had to slit some throats, be a prostitute, and..."

(POP goes the Beebe gun!)

"OW! But I have it!" Tristian corrected, taking out the two pieces. Malik reached for it but Tristian pulled back. "Ah, ah, ah!" Tristian teased, but the Harpy snatched it. Malik began to reassemble the pieces and it flew off...

Takura2004-Cliffy! I know it's not that much of a cliffy since you saw the movie...

(**1**)-To leave

(**2**)-FEAR THE MIGHT OF A PERMISSION SLIP!


	2. Diamond in the Rough

Takura- I Some things to say. I'm gonna have Seto be the spoiled prince and Mokuba be the little boys that pop out of nowhere and Rebecca be girls that pop out of nowhere. Okay, continue!

* * *

Chapter 2-The Diamond in the Rough

The two pieces were assembled, forming a beetle. It flew off swiftly, leaving golden trails. Malik and Tristian sped after it. "Faster!" Malik yelled. The beetle split up and formed eyes on a hill. It formed a giant, tiger head. Desert wind blew Malik and Tristian off of their horses. The horses got caught in the wind and were blown into oblivion of some sort. O.o

"What was the point of putting them things together if they were just gonna split up again to form eyes!" Malik asked. Everyone shrugged but Takura was telling Malik to continue.

"Finally, in all my years, The Cave of Wonders!" Malik said, getting up.

"My Ra..." Tristian mumbled.

Malik grabbed Tristian. "Remember, the treasure is yours but the puzzle, is MINE!" Malik pushed Tristian towards the cave. Tristian stepped in and was blown out.

"Dang bro!" The tiger spoke in slang "Wake a brotha up in the middle of the night." Malik and the Harpy sweat dropped. "Lemme do ma legendary thang befo' da boss start trippin'!" The tiger started clearing out its throat and spoke wisely. "Who disturbs my slumber?"

"It tis I, Tristian, a humble thief, prostitute..."

(KABLOOEY goes the Beebe gun)

"OWCH!" Tristian howled, rubbing his hide.

"Take caution, only one may enter this sacred cave, my dawg, the Diamond in the Rough!"

Tristian looked at Malik but Malik just replied, "What are you waiting for? GO ON!" Tristian took a step and the Tiger ate him! YAY! I mean...Boy that sucks.

"It seems Tristian wasn't worthy enough..." Malik obviously pointed out.

The Harpy was picking up the beetles pieces and dropped it off into Malik's hand. "Well there's a big SURPRISE! I think I'm gonna have a heart attack from not-surprise. What are we gonna do? We've got a big problem here a big..." Malik shut her mouth.

"I must find this one, 'Diamond in the Rough'."

* * *

On the streets of Agrabah, Bakura was being chased by the palace guards. "I'll have your hands for a trophy, street rat!" Yami yelled.

* * *

Takura-Cliffy! I know, I should have Yami be Genie...REVIEW! 


	3. One Jump Ahead

Takura2004-The fic continues!! MUAHAHA! I was grounded for a week last Thursday and I was reading The Series of Unfortunate Event: The Bad Beginning. Plus, I'm running for school council president! POWER TO THE PEOPLE! Yeah right. Enjoy!

* * *

"All this for a loaf of bread that came with a free thong?" Asked Bakura. Takura fired but missed. As the guards started to corner him, he jumped off the rooftop and started sliding on ropes that were used to hang and dry clothes. Of course, some clothes dropped with him. Two women started to laugh at Bakura while he tried to disguised himself. "Morning ladies!" Bakura greeted.

"Getting yourself a little too early now, aren't we Bakura?" The woman in the house asked.

"Trouble? You're only in trouble if you get caught!" Bakura commented.

"Gotcha," The real Yami caught him, grabbing Bakura (On his vest you yaoi lovers!) "And this time..." His hat was pulled down over his head by Bazoo!

"Perfect timing Bazoo, as usual!" Bakura complimented. Bazoo muttered thanks. "Come on, let's get outta here!"

**Gotta keep**,

(Bakura bumps into a guard)

**One jump, ahead of the breadline**

(Bakura dodges most the swings from the sword)

**One swing ahead of the sword**,

(Bazoo sticks his tongue out at the guards and ducks a swing while Bakura pants him)

I** steal, only what I can't afford, that's everything!**

(Bakura runs into another guard)

**One jump, ahead of the lawman**

(Bakura dodges again and hides behind a pole)

**That's all, and that's no joke**

(The guard's sword gets stuck into the pole in an attempt to kill Bakura)

**These guys, don't appreciate I'm broke!**

(Bakura runs up some barrels and kicks them down at the guards)

**Riff-raff!** (_Guard_)

**Street rat**! (_Guard_)

**Scoundrel**! (_Guard_)

**Take that**! (_Guards_)

(They throw watermelons at Bakura, who's on a wooden construction thingy)

**Just a little snack guys**!

(Axes and knives are thrown at him)

**RIP HIM OPEN! TAKE IT BACK GUYS**! (_Guards_)

(The guards are shaking the wooden construction thingy while Bazoo hangs onto a piece a wood, hanging out above a window)

**I can take a hint, gotta face the facts**!

(Bakura jumps down as Bazoo swings them into the window)

**You're my only friend Bazoo**!

(The girls notice Bakura)

**Who**? (_Girls_)

**Oh, it's sad, Bakura's hit the bottom**! (_Girls_)

(Bazoo eat most the souls in a dish. O.o He's Bazoo, the **SOUL** eater)

**He's became a one man rise in crime**! (_Girls_)

(They wrap Bakura up and unroll them into the fat hag)

**I'd blame parents, except he hasn't got 'em**!

(She swings her broom and misses while Bakura makes his way towards the window)

**Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, tell you all about when I got the time!**

(He pushed out the window but misses the bouncy thing and right onto the ground)

**One jump, ahead of the slowpokes**!

**One skip ahead of my doom!**

(The guards are still looking while Bakura hides himself behind a muscle but messes up)

**Next time, I'm gonna use a nom de plume**

(He walks away as the guards see him)

**THERE HE IS**! (_Yami_)

**One jump, ahead of the hitman**,

(Bakura's standing on a flock of sheep while Yami is throwing them)

**One hit, ahead of the flock**

(Bakura's on the ground now)

**I think I'll take a stroll around the block**!

(Bakura jumps over some man on needles, yes, he's alive, but while Yami and his clones do the same until on falls on the man And now he's dead)

**Stop thief**! (_Guards_)

(Bazoo is checking himself out in a mirror with jewelry on)

**Vandal**! (_Store owner_)

(He grabs Bazoo's necklace, strangling him)

**Bazoo**!

(Bakura grabs him and the necklace breaks)

**Scandal!** (_Some woman_)

**Let's not be too hasty**!

(Bakura is corner near a door that flies open and reveals an overweight woman. She picks Bakura up)

**Still I think he's rather tasty**!

(Bakura rolls away)

**Gotta eat to live, gotta steal to eat, otherwise we'd get along**!

**Wrong**! (_Guards_)

(They jump at Bakura at miss)

**Catch him**! (_Yami_)

(Bakura and Bazoo run throughout most of Agrabah)

**One jump, ahead of hoof beats**!

(Bakura tries to run but is blocked off)

**One hop, ahead of the hump!**

(Bakura runs another direction but is blocked off again, so he tries to run up some stairs)

**One trick ahead disaster**!

(More come out nowhere)

**They're quick! I'm much faster**!

(He run through a window and grabs a carpet)

**Here goes, better throw my hand in, wish me happy landing, all I gotta do is jump**!!

(He jumps out another window, riding the non-magical carpet as the guards are dumb enough to follow as they fall in manure EWW!!)

Bakura safely land when he used the carpet as a parachute. They landed in a small den where two little children were scavenging for loose food. "Now, we feast!" Bakura split the bread in half, sharing it with Bazoo. When Bakura was about to eat he saw the two little kids (Mokuba and Rebecca) staring at him with evil puppy dog eyes! Bakura's emotions got in the way of hunger. He gave his bread to them and so did Bazoo. There was commotion coming from the streets. Bakura and Bazoo went over to the streets.

* * *

Takura2004-That was barely funny, but, it was a longer chapter (I think). 


	4. Poor Bakura

Takura2004-O.o My last chapter wasn't funny...I should beat myself with the pan of doom!

* * *

Bakura gazed over the miscellaneous people as he saw Seto riding his horse with a major wedgie!

* * *

"Seto, you moron," Takura mumble "YOU FORGOT THE SADDLE!" Takura yelled. People seemed to back away.

Seto eyes popped opened and sweat dropped. "OH! NO WONDER MY—"

"Seto." Takura censored out.

"HURT!"

* * *

Anyways, Seto was look as if he cramps (Ouch). Mokuba and Rebecca ran out in front of him, making the horse stop. "Out of my way you filthy brats!"

"Hey, I'm _your_ brother." Mokuba mumbled. As Seto raised the whip Mokuba mumbled, "Aw sh—"Bakura blocked the whiplash with his arm.

"Hey! If I were as rich as you, I'd probably afford some manners!" Seto scoffed and yelled,

"I'll teach you some manners!" Seto pushed Bakura into the mud but then...

"AHH! MUD!" Bakura rose up as Bazoo wiped it off himself. "OMR! IS IT IN MY HAIR! I USED ABOUT THREE BOTTLES OF SHAMPOO TODAY AND I DON'T NEED MUD RUINING IT!" Everyone just stared and left him there.

* * *

"Stick to the script Bakura!" Takura yelled.

* * *

"Oh, yeah!" Bakura muttered "Hey Bazoo, it's not everyday you see a horse with two rear ends!"

The horse stopped and Seto glared. "You nothing more than just a street rat! You'll die street rat, and only your fleas will mourn you!" Seto's horse marched through the palace doors but when Bakura tried to catch him, the doors shut.

"He's thinks he slick, eh?" Bakura said in a mafia voice. He pulled out a gatling gun and fired. All he heard was the horse neigh and it fell.

"Get off me you stupid horse!" Seto yelled.

"Yeah shee! No one messes wit' the yami shee? Nya nya!"

* * *

Takura kind of chuckled and didn't fire the gun. "Script," Takura chuckle "Please!"

* * *

"Oh right," Bakura muttered "I don't have fleas!" Bakura was scratching his head. "Let's go home Bazoo." Bakura wandered through the alley ways to his house.

**Riff raff, street rat. I don't buy that. Only they'd look closer**

(Bakura starts climbing his ladder)

**Would they see a poor boy**? (COUGH YES COUGH) **No siree **(COUGH LIAR COUGH)

(Bazoo lies in bed as Bakura tucks him in)

**They'd find out, there's so much more**.

(Bakura looks out his window)

**To me**.

"One day Bazoo" Bakura said "We'll live in a palace and nothing could go wrong!"

At the palace Seto ran out crying. Yugi tried to stop him but Seto vanished. "Urgh! Ishizu!" Yugi enter the backyard in search of Ishizu and Rajah, the royal tiger appeared. "Confound you Rajah!" Yugi took something out of Rajah's mouth and it was half of a Blue-Eyes White Dragon card.

* * *

"O.o Oh crud! Seto's gonna sue us!" Takura said.

* * *

Takura2004-Thanks to my reviewers!

**Master Ruby**: Yes I shall bow my head in shame. Chapter 3 wasn't funny! Yes the bold words are the song!

**PerfectCell17**: I'm glad you are enjoying this!

**Molly-chan the Anime/Game fan**: Yami, you're gonna die. Beware of the fan-girl

**Clawfang**: I think you should make yours funny! It'll probably be better!

**N**: Yeah, I think it's cool too!

**AnimeLuverGurlz: **I'm like Aladdin too! (Obviously!)


	5. A long chapter

While the movie was continuing, Takura was barring Seto's lawyers out of the studio, from suing him and the tiger.

* * *

"So this is why Prince Seto stormed out crying like a baby!" Yugi figured out.

"Oh father," Ishizu said, quite calm, pressing a red button near the fountain, and turning the water from frosty white to clear liquid "Rajah was only playing around! Weren't you Rajah," Ishizu held Rajah's head "Just playing around with that selfish, over-dressed, Prince Seto?" Ishizu and Rajah laughed together but Yugi wasn't laughing, that's for sure!

"Ishizu," Yugi groan "You can't keep refusing prince's that comes to call," Ishizu got up and walked near the bird cage as Yugi followed "You must be married, to a prince," They both said in unison "By your next birthday!"

"Father," Ishizu said now, a little steamed, taking a small, white bird out "I hate being forced into this!"

"But you only got 3 more days!" Yugi worried.

"FATHER!"

"Ishizu, honey," Yugi said, placing the bird Ishizu had back into the cage "I'm not going to be around for long and I want you to be protected!"

"Father," Ishizu said, walking back to the fountain "Please try to understand! If I get married, I want it to be for love! I've never been outside of the palace; I've never had any real friends…" Rajah growled "Except you Rajah." Rajah purred calmly and fell back asleep.

"But honey, you're a princess!" Yugi reminded.

"Well may I don't wanna be a princess anymore!" Ishizu yelled, walking away again. Yugi growled and passed by Rajah saying,

"Ra forbid you, shall have any daughters!" Yugi stormed off and Rajah cocked his head murmuring, "Huh?" Ishizu pouted, and let her birds free. She ran back to the fountain, press the button again, changing the water back to white frost.

"GAWD I LOVE PINA COLODA!"

* * *

Meanwhile in the palace, Yugi took out a Game Boy Advance (Don't own), talking to himself. "I don't know where she gets it. Her mother was barely a pity!" A shadow rose over Yugi. Yugi cowered but realized it was his 'trustworthy' royal advisor, Malik. "Ah, it's you, my royal advisor!"

"I'll do anything to serve you my lord." Malik bowed.

"It's this whole suitor thing! Ishizu won't choose a husband to marry! I'm at my wits end!" Yugi confessed.

"AAHH! WITS END!" Harpy Lady squawked.

Yugi noticed the bird and stuffed a cracker in her mouth, laughing. Malik laughed as well saying, "You highness does have a way with dumb animals!" Harpy Lady glared. "Not to worry, my lead," Malik changed the subject "To find your daughter a husband, it'll require the mystic blue diamond." Malik pointed to Yugi blue ring.

"The bling-bling? But it's been in the family for ages!" Yugi said, obviously not wanting to give up the ring.

"It's required to find an appropriate suitor for the princess," Malik said, pulling out a copy of the Millennium rod (It works but for the scene with Aladdin breaking Jafar's staff, I won't allow it), facing it a Yugi's eyes "What do you say? Everything will be fine!" Yugi went into a hypnotic gaze at Malik and copied,

"Everything will be…fine."

"The bling-bling?" Malik requested.

"Here Malik, the bling-bling…is yours." Yugi gave up the ring and Malik snatched it.

"You are most graceful, my lord," Malik said, then he pushed Yugi towards the Gameboy "Now play with your little games!" Yugi followed Malik's orders and started playing. As Malik walked off, Harpy Lady spat out the cracker pieces and shouted,

"I can't take it anymore," Malik pulled a string on a hanging decoration and a secret door slid open "If I gotta stuff down one of those moldy crackers, WHAM!"

"Calm yourself Harpy," Malik walked up his stairs while the secret door closed "Soon I will be Sultan, and not the peddle-headed twit!"

"And soon I'll stuff the crackers down his throat, HAHA!" Malik and Harpy walked through another door, laughing.

* * *

Meanwhile that night, Ishizu was sneaking out of the palace. She hugged the fountain (Yes, the fountain) goodbye and tried to climb a tree. Rajah whimpered and Ishizu responded, "I'm sorry Rajah," Ishizu apologized "But I can't have my life lived for." Ishizu hugged him goodbye and left. "Goodbye Rajah."

* * *

Takura was still barring the door and watching the movie but was disabled from the Beebe gun.

* * *

That morning in the marketplace, Bakura and Bazoo were scheming to rob a melon stand. Bazoo hung from the top and tried to take one but the stand owner caught him. While Bazoo was being yelled at, Bakura came down and took a melon with the five finger discount! Bazoo ditched the owner and Bakura and Bazoo ate breakfast. Bakura gazed at Ishizu walking down the street, whispering, "Wow!" Ishizu saw a little hungry boy who wanted an apple.

"You want an apple?" Ishizu asked, even though it was obvious as heck. She gave him one but the humongous stand owner caught her.

"You better be able to pay for that!"

"Pay?" Ishizu mumbled.

"NO ONE STEALS FROM MY STAND!" The stand owner grabbed Ishizu's arm and a sword. "YOU KNOW THE PENALTY!"

Ishizu cowered and begged for mercy, saying she'd get the Sultan to pay, but Bakura helped out, by stopping the stand owner. "There you are! I've been for you everywhere!" Bakura said.

"What are you doing?" Whispered Ishizu, a little puzzled.

"Just play along." Bakura commanded.

"You know this girl?" The stand owner asked.

"Yes," Bakura feigned "Sadly, she's my sister. She's a little crazy!"

Ishizu scoffed but then the stand owner grabbed Bakura yelling, "But she said she knew the Sultan! The short and mighty king!"

"She thinks the monkey's the Sultan!" Bakura pointed the Bazoo, who was trying to rob a commoner. Ishizu played along and bowed. "So no harm here!" Aladdin gave an apple back to the stand owner, making the stand owner think it was the one Ishizu gave away. "Come on sis," Bakura was pushing Ishizu away "Time to go to the doctor!" Ishizu stopped in front of a camel saying,

"Why, hello doctor!"

"No, no, no, not THAT doctor! Come on your majesty!" Bakura was referring to Bazoo. Bazoo said something that was royal and bowed but all of his treasure fell out its pocket, including three apples! The stand owner started yelling but the three friends ran away!

* * *

At the palace, Harpy Lady was running on a gear to make one of Malik's experiments work. "Faster Harpy!" Malik commanded. The Harpy Lady ran as fast as ever, sweating to death. Malik placed Yugi's bling-bling between two fake snake heads while in a crystal ball, the Cave of Wonders head appear. "Cave of Wonders, reveal to me who can enter the cave!" Malik demanded but got a reply,

"This is the Cave of Wonders head's answering machine, please leave a name and message after the roar! RROOAARR!!"

"How are you not there when you can barely go anywhere!?" Malik pondered but, pulled a redial lever. He tried it again and he finally gotten his request. The picture of Ishizu and Bakura appeared.

"That's him," Harpy screeched "That's the clown we've been waiting for?!" The gear was speeding up and sent Harpy flying through the gears and into the wall.

"Let's give an invitation to the palace, shall we?" Malik asked.

"Swell!" Harpy wheezed while Malik laugh malevolently.

* * *

Bakura welcomed Ishizu in his 'lovely' abode. Ishizu complimented him while Bakura gazed at the palace. "I wonder what it'd be like living in the palace! Have you own ballets—"

"People telling you where to go or what to do." Ishizu interrupted.

"It's better than this!" Bakura said, taking an apple away from Bazoo and giving it to Ishizu, and then he took one for himself. "So, where are you from?"

"It doesn't matter," Ishizu answered "And I'm not going back!"

"Why not?" Bakura asked.

"My father's forcing me to get married!" Ishizu answered. Bazoo tried to reach for Ishizu's apple but Bakura started yelling at him Bazoo yelled back. "What did _it _say?"

"**HE** says that's not fair!"

"Oh really?" Ishizu asked.

"Of course!" Bakura lied.

"Well tell Bazoo that's," Ishizu and Bakura came close to kissing "Real sweet!" The palace guards broke in and tried to capture Bakura!

Bakura grabbed Bazoo asked Ishizu, "Do you trust me?"

"Um…Yes." Ishizu answered and was pulled out the window. The three landed on a pile of sand and ran. There were guards there too! The caught Bakura and tossed Bazoo in a random pot.

"UNHAND HIM! In order of the princess!" Ishizu took off her hood and the guards bowed.

"I'm afraid we can't princes," Yami said "Our orders come from Malik. You must talk to him!"

"Don't worry I will after a pitcher of Pina Coloda's!" Ishizu growled.

* * *

Takura-That concludes this chapter! It's long! 


	6. Bakura Bad Day

Takura was still barring the cursed lawyers. He reached into his pocket and got out a cell-phone. "Hello? Scott? Do you think you could do a drive-by?"

O.o

* * *

Anyways, at the palace, Ishizu just got done drinking her pina coloda and was now drunk as hell. She reached Malik's chamber (Not the secret one, but the one he has to walk in to get to the wall). Malik was just coming out of his secret room but as soon as he saw Ishizu, he slammed the secret door on Harpy who was walking out. "Malik!" Ishizu stormed through and tripped.

"O.o Ishizu?" Malik called out, helping her up. Ishizu got up and started yelling at the wall.

"Don't you laugh at me!" Malik just stared. Ishizu looked at Malik and laughed, "You are one ugly MF'er!" Malik now glared. "Anyways," Ishizu continued, looking like she was coming back to her senses "The guards took a boy from the marketplace!"

"Why, princess, you father is in charge of keeping peace in Agrabah! The boy was a criminal!" Malik said.

"Malik, help, I can't breathe!" Harpy wheezed, stuck between the door. Malik kicked the Harpy back into the door. "OW! THAT HURT!"

"And what was his crime?" asked Ishizu, furiously.

"For kidnapping the princess, of course!" Malik said, lying as if he didn't know she ran away.

"He didn't kidnap me! I ran away!" Ishizu yelled.

"Oh dear," Malik sympathized "If only I had known!"

"What do you mean?" Ishizu asked curiously.

"Sadly, the boy is being sentenced."

"What is it?"

"DEATH," Malik said, rather profoundly "By beheading!" Ishizu gasped but then went to a drunken stage again.

"Have you ever been told you're an ugly MF'er!?" Ishizu cried and ran off. "SO UGLY YOU MAKE ME CRY"

THUD!

That was the sound of Ishizu falling again. Harpy flew out from between the door and the wall, gasping for air. "So," Harpy said calmly "How did it go?"

"It went," Malik cracked a wicked smile "Rather well!"

* * *

At the fountain, Ishizu was crying. Rajah was there by her side, looking sympathetic. "It's my entire fault Rajah," Ishizu cried "I didn't even know his name!" She continued crying while Rajah patted her on the back.

* * *

Takura jumped from the door to the floor as bullets and blood came flying through the walls. Takura gave thumbs up to Scott as he left. Takura wielded the BB gun once again!

* * *

In the dungeons, Bakura was struggling to get out of his cuffed that were attached to the wall. "She was the princess," Bakura mumbled "I must've sounded so stupid to her!"

"Hello, Bakura!" A monkey voice called out to Bakura.

"Bazoo! Do you think you can take me out of these things?" Bakura begged.

"PHOOEY!" Bazoo shouted. He threw his vest over his head and imitated Ishizu.

"Hey, she was worth it!" Bakura said as Bazoo started to pick the lock. Bakura was set free. "But she can only marry a prince."

"Only a fool gives up!" Grandpa murmured, while he was sweeping the floor whispering, "Dusty, dusty dusty…"

Bakura looked at the weird, haggard, man and asked, "Who're you?"

"I'm a lonely prisoner," He said "Just like you! But there is a Cave of Wonders, filled with treasure!" He flashed three red gleaming rubies. "Enough to please your princess I wager!"

"Malik," Harpy called from under the hood, sweating "Could ya hurry up! It's hot in here!" Grandpa knocked Harpy back in.

"Why do you want to share this wonderful treasure with me?" Bakura asked.

"I need someone with a stiff back and strong knees to go in for me!"

"One problem," Bakura complained "It's out there, we're in here!"

"Things aren't always what they seem!" Grandpa tapped the wall with his broom as another hidden door was revealed to the outside. "Do we have a deal?" Bakura agreed they were in the desert.

* * *

In a matter of minutes, they were standing before the Cave of Wonders head. "Aw dip," The head cheered "Someone found him! Come on in boy! DON'T TOUCH THE BLING-BLING! ONLY THE LAMP MAY BE TOUCHED (O.o that didn't sound right)!" Bakura walked in a little nervous. Him? Why him? Anyways, Bakura traveled through the cave and was stopping Bazoo from touching the treasure. A magic carpet spotted the two and stalked Bazoo. Bazoo felt weird vibes from the carpet, seeing as how whenever he tried looking, at it, it would either rolled up and lay on the side or fall on the ground like a regular carpet. Bazoo warned Bakura and Bakura finally saw it was an actual magic carpet.

"Maybe you can help?" Bakura asked. The carpet volunteered to.

In the lamp's dungeon, Bakura told Bazoo to stay still while went to go fetch the lamp. Bazoo looked to his right and saw a huge red ruby. He wanted it so badly, he couldn't resist! The carpet was holding Bazoo back. Bakura got the lamp and commented, "This is why we came all the way here for?" He took a looked at Bazoo, who broke away from the carpet grasp. Bazoo grabbed the ruby but then, the head's voice came along.

"I could've sworn I said NOT TO TOUCH THE BLING-BLING! NOW I'M GONNA HAFTA BUST CAPS!" The water turned into lava and Bakura started running down the stairs. The stairs went flat and Bakura was now on his way to death!

"Here I come mom!" Bakura cried, but he was caught by the carpet! The carpet actually flew! Bakura rescued Bazoo and the three were almost out of the cave until a boulder came crashing down onto the carpet. Bakura was on a cliff, near the exit of the cave.

"Help me!" Bakura cried to Grandpa.

"Give me the lamp!" Grandpa ordered. Bakura handed over the lamp and Grandpa cheered, "AT LAST! IT'S FINALLY MINE!" He saw Bazoo trying to help Bakura up but Grandpa kicked him! Grandpa grabbed Bakura's arm.

"What are you doing!?" Bakura asked, worried.

"Giving you your reward!" Grandpa took out a dagger "Your eternal reward!" Grandpa tried to kill Bakura but Bazoo bit him. Screaming in pain, he dropped Bakura and threw Bazoo down in the cave with him. The cave's head went down and Grandpa cheered, "At last! It's all mine! It's…" Grandpa looked in his pocket and gasped. "NNOOOO!"

* * *

At the palace, Yugi came to Ishizu's room and saw Ishizu crying. "Ishizu," Yugi called "What's wrong?"

"Malik," She sobbed "Has done something terrible!"

"There, there Ishizu! Now tell me, what happened?" Yugi asked.

* * *

In the cave (Which was now restored, though the head wasn't showing), Bakura woke up from his knock-out slumber. Bazoo and the carpet were still alive. "Ow, my head! That two faced son of a bitch!"

* * *

"You were supposed to say jackal, but what the hell?" Takura said.

* * *

"Now he has the lamp!" Bazoo smiled and revealed the lamp that he just stole! "You sly, hairy, thief!" Bakura said enthusiastically. Bakura was examining it and he saw little words that were dusty. When he tried to rub the dust off, the lamp was bouncing up and down while blue smoke and red graffiti shot out. A yell from a giant being came along too.

* * *

Takura-Cliffy and I will shock some people next chapter. 


	7. Meet the Genie and Prince Baku!

Takura-I might skip a few parts so don't get mad at me!

* * *

"OY!" _Yami_ yelled, holding his neck "5,000 years will give you such a pain in the butt!"

(KAPOP goes the BB gun. He didn't fire for 5,000 years seeing how 5,000 is half of 10,000.)

"OW!!" Yami cried, rubbing his back. Yami glared and continued his act.

"Where's Joey?" Bakura asked, a little shocked.

"He's got diarrhea, now hold on one second!" The giant put Bakura on a rock that hung out on the wall. Yami took off his head, twisted it around, and put it back on. It was natural seeing as how Yami **is** a spirit! Bazoo and the carpet pulled Bakura down from the wall. Yami took his ghost-like tail and turned it into a microphone. "It's nice to be back folks," He announced "I'm tellin' ya! Who are you kid? Where are you from?" Yami lowered the microphone to Bakura's mouth.

"Um…Bakura. What is it to you?" Bakura sneered but was shot in the leg.

"Bakura," Yami said, as a fancy electric board appeared spelling it out "Mind if I call you 'Ba' or 'Ra'. How 'bout Baka? Like," Yami transformed to Kuwabara.

* * *

Takura started to laugh but at the Yu Yu Hakusho studio, Kuwabara wasn't.

"My teasing senses are tingling!" Yuske stared at Kuwabara like he was crazy. "Now my bashing senses…"

POW!

Hiei whacked Kuwabara good with a 500 ton mallet. "Shut up with your ridiculous nonsense!"

* * *

Anyways, Bakura held his head whispering, "I must've hit my head harder than I thought!"

Yami wasn't listening and joked, "You smoke? Mind if I do?" Yami poofed and turned back into himself. Bazoo got scared and hid behind Bakura. "Sorry if I singed ya fur, cheetah," He gazed at the carpet and greeted, "Yo rug-man, haven't seen you in a few millennia!" While the carpet and genie did their handshake, Bakura whispered,

"This guy never shuts up, does he?"

"Master," Yami shouted "I don't think you quite realize what you got here," Yami used his powers to make Bakura sit on a rock "So won't you just ruminate whilst I illuminate, the possibilities!"

"I got a feeling a song's coming on!" Bakura muttered.

**Well Ali Baba had them 40 thieves, and Scherezade had a 1,000 tales,**

(Yami deals out 40 Dark Assassins, A YGO card, and they all circle in on him)

**But master, your in luck, cuz up yo sleeves, you got a brand of magic that never fails,**

(Yami's giant arms and fist sprout out of Bakura sleeves, and knocks the thieves out. He also turns the place into a boxing ring. He's messaging Bakura's shoulders)

**You got some power in your corner now! Some Ammunition in your camp!**

(Yami turns into a cartoon firework and fires near Bakura's head. Then he turns into a smaller form in the lamp)

**You got some punch, PIZAZZ, yahoo and how, see all you gotta do is rub that puzzle and I'll say:**

(He makes Bakura rub the puzzle, making Yami come out in the smoking form. He turns into a French waiter and gives Bakura, the carpet, and Bazoo seats and a table)

**Mr. Bakura sir, what will your pleasure be? Let me take your order, jot it down! You ain't never had a friend like me! Life is your restaurant and,**

(Yami writes stuff down in a little note pad. He sets a dish on the table and leaves but when Bakura opens it, it's Yami head attached to two legs of a turkey! Bakura yells out "REFUND" but gets shot)

**I'm your maitre'd! Come on now, whisper what is you want, you ain't neva had a friend like me! **

(Yami turns back to normal and extends his ear while he multiplies into four more Yami's)

**Yessir! We pride ourselves on service!**

(The Yami's are giving Bakura excellent service like messaging, nail-clipping, shaving, and hair-clipping but then the chair Bakura's sitting turns into a big fluffy couch)

**You're the boss, the king, the…**

**PHAROAH!! MUAHAHA! **(_Bakura_)

(Yami glares while all the food appears)

**Say what you wish, it's your true dish! How 'bout a little more baklava!? **

(Yami near drowns everyone with baklava. Bakura is standing on a pillar of food labeled 'A')

**Have some of Column A,**

(Bakura falls onto another pillar labeled 'B')

**Have all of column B!**

(Bakura falls onto a pillow while Yami is singing face-to-face)

**I'm in the mood, to help ya dude! You ain't never had friend like me!**

(Yami winds out his tongue while a smaller form pops out and dances with Yami's hands that has two faces on them)

**Wa wa wa **(_Hands_)

**Oh my!**

**Wa wa wa **(**_Hands_**)

**NO NO!**

**Wa wa wa **(_HANDS_)

**My my!**

(The hands squish and Yami's back in his regular form with Bakura)

**Can your friends do this?**

(Yami starts to juggle his own head, but he made a copy of his heads)

**Can your friends do that?**

(Yami passes his heads to Bakura acts as if he missed them but gets shot. Yami SOMEHOW got his head back and makes a twirling loop)

**Can your friends pull this?**

(Yami turns into a rabbit and turns into Slifer)

**Can your friends go POOF!**

(Yami blasts out plasma and it forms 3 beautiful women AKA Mai, Tea, and Serenity)

**HEY looky here! HAHA!**

(Tea starts flirting with Bakura (Wow, she desperate) (Cue the many cocking of fan girl's shotguns) while Yami is dancing)

**Can your friends go, Abracadabra, Let her rip,**

(Yami rips his face like paper)

**And then make the sucker disappear?**

(Tea, Mai, and Serenity disappear and Yami turns into the smaller form, floating in front of Bakura)

**Don't you sit there, slack-jawed, buggy-eyed,**

(Yami's jaw drops and his eyes stretched out)

**I'm here to answer all your midnight prayers!**

(Yami bounces off of Bakura's hands into a puddle. He pops out looking like a college scholarship)

**You got me bona fide, certified!**

(Yami wraps around Bakura and spins him around. Yami's ear is in Bakura's)

**You got for a charge d'affaire! I got a powerful to help you out, so what's your wish, I really wanna know? You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt! Well all you gotta is rub like so!**

(Yami pulls a long paperout of Bakura's ear and rubs his (own) butt and whips Bakura with it. A circle of men are bowing to him)

**Mr. Bakura sir, have a wish or two or three!**

(Tea appears again and tries to kiss Bakura (Evil glares from fan girls are sensed)

**And I'm on the job,**

(Tea turns into Yami, who is blushing from Bakura's kiss)

**You big nabob! You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend,**

(Yami creates dancing camels and hippos)

**You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend. You ain't never,**

(Yami creates a line of swordsman)

**Had a,**

(Yami creates a line of monkeys on a giant jewel)

**Friend,**

(Tea, Mai, and Serenity reappear)

**LIKE ME!**

(Everyone starts dancing, while Bazoo starts stealing some gold that was on the side)

**You ain't never had a friend like me!!**

Yami sucked everything back up and Bazoo was mad, seeing how he didn't have the gold anymore. "So what will it be, master?"

'Hey, I love how the foolish pharaoh calls me master!' "So you'll grant me any three wishes, right?"

"Um," Yami hummed "Almost. There are some…quid-quo-pros."

"Like?" Bakura asked.

Yami zipped near Bakura's side. "I can't kill anybody," Yami said, and decapitated himself "So don't ask!" Bakura looked a little heartbroken. "Rule #2," Yami exclaimed "I can't make anyone fall in love, with anybody else!" Yami kissed Bakura (YAOI) and called him some cute names. Bakura blushed, turning dark red. "Rule #3," Yami exclaimed "I can't, bring anyone back from the dead," Yami turned into a dead figure "It's not a pretty picture. I don't like doing it!" Yami turned back into himself at last and made up his own rule, "You can't wish be pharaoh!" Bakura cursed under his breath. "Other than that, you got it!" Bakura gazed at Bazoo, and Bazoo gave a thumb up for a reason or two.

"Provisos? Limitations on wishes? Some genie!" Bakura insulted. "Come on Bazoo; let's find a way out of here!" Bazoo jumped onto Bakura's shoulder but then a giant foot stomped in front of him.

'Dang it, I missed! Stupid foot…' Yami thought. "Are you looking at me? Did you rub my lamp? And all of a sudden you're walking out on me?" Yami turned steaming red. "Not right now! You're getting your three wishes so **SIT DOWN!**" Bakura sat on the carpet and Yami turned into a human size to sit near Bakura. "We're out of here!" Yami drove the carpet out of the underground cave and flew to a nearby oasis.

* * *

At the palace, Malik was being scolded at by Yugi. "Malik," Yugi began "If it wasn't for all your years of service…For now on, you're to talk to me before people are behead!"

"I'm seriously sorry!" Malik said, begging for forgiveness.

"Now, let's get this thing settled for now." Yugi said, pulling Malik and Ishizu closer.

"I am sorry princess." Malik said to Ishizu, kissing her hand.

"At least some good will come my force to being married," Ishizu said, glaring at Malik "Because when I'm queen, I will have the power to get rid of you and those people who keep staring at is in the corner!" Ishizu, Yugi, Takura, and Malik took a gaze at the red eyes from within the corner of the room. Ishizu ran off while Yugi said,

"Good. Now Ishizu, getting back to that suitor business…" Yugi saw Ishizu walking off and he ran after her.

Malik's calm grin turned into an evil frown. "If only I had gotten that puzzle!"

"I will have the power to get rid of you!" Harpy imitated "GR! To think, we gotta suck up to that chump and his chump daughter!"

Malik walked towards to balcony that was above the garden Yugi and Ishizu was in. "No Harpy," Malik said "Only until she finds a chump husband, then she'll have us banished. Or beheaded!" Malik and Harpy shuddered to that thought.

"Wait," Harpy sound, flapping her wings "What if YOU were the chump husband!?"

"What!?" Malik exclaimed.

"What if you married the princess, and then become sultan!" Harpy explained. Malik smiled.

"Marry the shrewd?" Malik marched to sit on the throne "I become sultan? I love the idea!"

"And then we push papa in-law, and the little woman, off a cliff!" Harpy stood on Malik's rod (THE MILLENIUM ONE!) and imitated the act. Malik and Harpy had a good wicked laugh afterwards.

* * *

Meanwhile at the oasis, Yami and Bakura were talking about the wishes. "Thus my ears deceive me? One!? You're down by one boy!"

"No, no, no! That was on your own! I never wished to get out!" Bakura reminded. Yami transformed into a sheep and said,

"Boy do I feel sheepish! Alright bbaadd boy! But no more freebies!"

"Fair deal?" Bakura said, thinking about his three wishes. "What would you wish for?" Bakura asked Yami. Yami was in his regular form and said,

"In my case…Nah, forget it!" Bakura kept asking what Yami would want and Yami finally confessed, "Freedom!"

"You're a prisoner?" Bakura asked, holding the lamp.

"It's all part and partial of the genie gig," Yami turned into a titan "PHENOMINAL, COSMIC POWER!" Yami then went in the puzzle "Itty, bitty, living space!"

"That's sad!" Bakura commented, wanting to gag so bad for giving pathetic sympathy.

"But to be my own master," Yami sighed "Not having to go," POOF "What do you need?" POOF "What do you need?" POOF "What do you need!?" Yami started lifting into the sky. "The be my own master would be better than all the magic, and all the treasures in the world!" Yami fell back down to earth muttering, "But who am I kidding? Wake up Yami and smell the pumas!"

"How come?"

"The only way I can be set free is if my master wishes me free," Yami said "So, you can guess how many times that happened!"

"I'll do it!"

"Yeah right!" Yami doubted, turning into Pinocchio with a long nose. Bakura pushed it into Yami's face and vowed to set Yami free. Yami shook Bakura's hand and asked what he wanted.

"Well, there's this girl and…"

"ANH! WRONG!" Yami interrupted "I can't make anyone fall in love remember?"

"But Yami," Bakura said "She's got these eyes, and her hair! SIGH!"

"Mon ami (My friend)," Yami said "C'est la (Whatever) (That is (Something)"

"But if I had the chance I'd have to be…" Bakura then thought of something and asked, "Could you make me a prince?"

Yami turned Bakura into a prince and Bazoo into an elephant. He also added a 'few' things.

* * *

At the palace, Malik was trying to manipulate Yugi to have Ishizu marry him.

Takura interrupted the scene with a notice. "If you look the original Sultan's animal stack, you'll see Simba from 'Lion King' and Beast from 'Beauty and the Beast', no lies!"

Anyways, Yugi was saved from the music coming from the streets. Yugi and Malik went to go see what the commotion was. It was a parade for Prince 'Baku'.

**Make way, for Prince Baku! **(_Men_)

**Say hey, it's Prince Baku! **(_Men_)

**Hey clear the way in the old bazaar!**

(Yami breaks through everyone and faces a camel)

**HEY YOU! Let us through! It's a bright new star!**

(He starts dancing with commoners)

**Oh come be the first on the block to meet his eye!**

**Make way, here he comes,**

(Yami knocks down an old lady as she howls, "MY BACK!")

**Ring bells,**

(Yami starts banging on frying pans)

**Bang the drums,**

(Yami bangs on the apple stand-owner's belly and jumps in his arms)

**You're gonna hate **(KAPOP**), I mean love this guy! Prince Baku,**

(On top of Bazoo, Bakura's smiling and the sun's shining reflection is blinding some people)

**Fabulous you **(Something that rhymed with Baku), **Baku Dorobo!**

**Genuflect, show some respect! Down on one knee!**

(Yami pulls the carpet underneath Yami's clone's feet, making stand on one knee)

**Now try your best to stay calm, bring up your Sunday salaam,**

(Harpy is dancing but Malik glares)

**And come and meet his spectacular coterie!**

(Yami stack people on top of each other to shake hands but they topple on top of Bakura)

**Prince Baku, might is you, Baku Dorobo! Strong as ten regular men, definitely!**

(Yami makes Bakura strong with some magic, making Bakura lift the people on him. Yami changes into an old geezer, talking to some people.)

**He faced the galloping herds!**

(Yami now changes into Yugi, talking to Mokuba and Rebecca)

**100 bad guys with swords!**

(Yami turns into a fat man)

**Who sent those goons to their lords?**

**WHY PRINCE BAKU! **(_Commoners_)

**He's got 75 golden camels! **(_Men_)

(The men are carrying 75 camels)

**Purple peacocks, he's got 53! **(_Women_)

**When it comes to exotic type mammals!**

(Some of the men are carrying a giant gorilla balloon while Yami turns into a baby leopard)

**Has he got a zoo,**

(Yami turns into a goat)

**I'm telling you!**

**It's a world class menagerie! **(_Commoners_)

(On a balcony with Mai, Tea, and Serenity, Yami pops out wearing a bra with melons in them)

**Prince Baku, handsome is you, Baku Dorobo!**

**That physique,**

(Yami gives Bakura muscles)

**How can I speak?**

**Weak at the knees!!**

**Well get on out in that square!**

**Adjust your veil and prepare,**

**To gawk, and grovel, and stare at prince Baku!**

(Ishizu was watching but she scoffs and runs off)

**He's got 95 white Persian monkeys! **(_Men_)

(Men with monkies are marching through)

**He got the monkeys! Let see the monkeys! **(_Yami clones_)

**To view them he charges no fees! **(_Men_)

(Bakura is throwing free gold)

**He's so generous! So generous! **(_Commoners_)

**He's got slaves; he's got servants and flunkies! **(_Men_)

(Baku and his men are marching to the palace and Yugi is running to the door)

**Proud to work for him! **(_Men_)

**They bow to his whim, love serving him! **(_Men_)

**They're just lousy with loyalty, to Baku (**_Men_)

**Prince Baku (**_Men)_

(Yugi reaches for the door)

**Prince Baku **(_Men_)

(Malik shuts the door)

**Prince Baku! **(_Men_)

(The door swings open, crushing Malik to the wall while Bakura's men help Yugi)

**Amorous you, Bakura Dorobo!**

(Yami slides down to Yugi, sweating)

**Heard your princess was a sight, lovely to see!**

(Malik pushes the door close)

**And that, good people, is why,**

(Yami is dancing wit Yugi until Yami tosses Yugi but Yugi misses the throne chair and hits the wall)

**He got dolled up and dropped by,**

**With 60 elephants, llamas galore! **(_Men_)

**With bears, lions, and brass bands, and more, **(_Men_)

**With 40 fakirs, his cooks, his bakers, and birds that wobble on key, **(_Men_)

**Make way! **(_Men_)

**For Prince BAKU!! (**_Everyone)_

Takura-YAWN! Review please!


	8. Malik's Rampage!

Takura-I will make this chapter funny! I promise!

* * *

Yugi was getting up from his collision to the wall when Yami threw him. Yugi clapped and cheered, "Splendid, absolutely marvelous!"

"Your hiney," Bakura spoke but then Takura shouted out,

"HIGHNESS!"

"Whatever," Bakura scoffed "I've come from afar to seek your daughter's hand in marriage!"

"Prince Baku Dorobo, I am delighted to meet you," Yugi then pointed to Malik and continued "This is the royal vizier, Malik, he is also proud to meet you too!"

"Ecstatic." Malik muttered but went on "I'm afraid Prince Baka…"

"Baku!" Bakura corrected, twirling Malik's feather on his head.

"Whatever! You can't just parade in here uninvited and expect to…"

"My Ra," Yugi interrupted, poking the carpet "This is a remarkable device you've got here! You don't mind if I ride do you?"

"Hell…" Bakura then gazed at Takura, aiming the gun at him "Yes?" Takura stopped while Bakura lifted Yugi onto the carpet. Malik put the millennium rod into the carpet and refused that Yugi rode it.

"Nonsense Malik," Yugi disagreed "Learn to have some sugar and fun!" Yugi kicked the rod, setting the carpet free but Takura was too late to fire. While Yugi flied around, Malik and Bakura had a conversation.

"Just where did you say you where from?" Malik asked.

"Further then you've ever traveled," Bakura lied "I suppose."

"Tried me!" Malik challenged. Bakura gave an awkward look but then Malik shouted, "NOT LIKE THAT!"

"Out of the way!" Yugi shouted "I have no insurance!" Malik and Yugi ducked but Harpy was the least fortunate one. Harpy was flying away from Yugi and the carpet, flapping with all her might! When carpet stopped chasing her, Harpy crashed into a pillar. Ouch! Yugi landed and Malik was whispering to Yugi how he didn't trust Bakura. Yugi disagreed.

"What makes him worthy of a princess!?" Malik questioned, in Bakura's face.

"Why your majesty, I am Prince Baku," Bakura reasoned with Malik, while Ishizu was eavesdropping "I will win your daughter!"

"How dare you," Ishizu yelled "Trying to predict my future like I'm some prize to be won!" Ishizu marched off.

"She's got a bad case of PMS." Yugi said to Bakura, walking away from Mailk.

"It's time to say GOODBYE to Prince Baka!" Malik whispered to himself.

* * *

That night, Ishizu was sitting on her bed, poking Rajah to death. Afterwards, she took out a rifle and watched over her beloved fountain.

In the garden, in between the trees, Baku was thinking. Yami was trying to tell him to tell Ishizu the truth, but Bakura **_is_** a thief, and thieves don't tell the truth! Bakura went up to Ishizu on the carpet and Yami followed in the form of a bee. Ishizu tried to make Bakura go away by siccing Rajah on him. When Bakura took off his fancy hat and revealed his long white hair, he looked familiar to Ishizu. "Do I know you? You remind me of someone from the marketplace."

"The marketplace? I have servants go to the marketplace so it couldn't have been me!"Bakura lied. Ishizu sighed but she knew it was a lie!

"The hair, the eyes," Yami whispered "Anything! Pick a feature!"

"Um," Bakura moaned "Princess Ishizu, You're very…"

"Pretty, wonderful," Yami said "Punctual!"

"Punctual!" Bakura said but that got Ishizu mad. "I mean, beautiful!"

Ishizu and Rajah looked at each other as if Ishizu had something planned to put him down. "I'm rich too." She said, nearing in on Bakura.

"I know!" Bakura said, in a _sexy _way.

"The daughter of the sultan," Ishizu continued "A prize for any prince!"

"Yeah! A prince like me!" Bakura said, a bit nervous having Ishizu coming closer to him.

"WARNING! WARNING!" Yami rang.

"And every other wavering peacock I've met!" Ishizu then swung Bakura's cape over his head and pulled his hat down onto his face. "Go jump off the balcony or something!" Ishizu then started marching to her room. Bakura fixed himself up though.

"Want me to sting her?" Yami ask, trying to help.

"Beat it!" Bakura whispered.

"Fine, but bee yourself!" Yami joked, going back into the puzzle in Bakura's hat.

"Yeah right!" Bakura yelled but it drew Ishizu's attention.

"What?!" Ishizu yelled.

"I said you're right," Bakura lied "I'll leave." Bakura took a step off the balcony and Ishizu tried to stop him, thinking he was going to fall to his death, but Bakura poked his head up, surprising Ishizu.

"How are you doing that?" Ishizu asked. The carpet revealed itself.

"It's a magic carpet (ya dunce)." Bakura said.

"It's lovely!" Ishizu complimented.

"You don't wanna go out for a ride, do you?" Bakura asked.

"Is it safe?" Ishizu asked, a bit fascinated.

"Sure," Bakura answered but he said something that gave himself away "Do you trust me?"

Ishizu smiled. "Yes." Bakura pulled her onto the carpet and they flew off. One hundred commoner filled up the garden, drinking out of the fountain!

Meanwhile, in the sky, a song was coming on. Oh boy! Since they were actually flying place to place, Takura ran after them, filming it

Bakura:

**I can open your eyes,**

**Shining, shimmering, splendid! **(Try to say that five times fast!)

(Bakura shows Ishizu the palace from above and how it sparkles)

**Tell me princess,**

(They go through the bazaar and Bakura steals a flower for Ishizu)

**Now when did you last let your heart decide?**

(The carpet goes into the sky again)

**I can show the world,**

**Over, sideways, and under,  
**

(The carpet goes in his directions and goes back into the sky)

**On a magic carpet ride!**

**A whole new world,**

**A new fantastic point of view,**

**No one to tell us no,**

**Or where to go,**

**Or say we're only dreaming.**

Ishizu:

**A whole new world,**

**A dazzling place,**

**I never knew,**

**But when I'm way up here,**

(They both catch clouds)

**It's crystal clear,**

(Bakura stabs his while Ishizu sets her's free)

**That now I'm in a world new world, with you**

Bakura:

**Now I'm in a whole new world with you!**

(The swirl through a cloud making it look like whipped cream or cartoon poop)

Ishizu:

**Unbelievable sights!**

(They fly between a flock of seagulls)

**Indescribable feeling!**

**Soaring, tumbling, freewheeling,**

**Through an endless diamond sky,**

**A whole new world!**

(The carpet goes down like a roller coaster while Ishizu tries to close her eyes)

Bakura:

**Don't you dare close your eyes!**

(Bakura uncovers Ishizu's eyes)

Ishizu:

**One hundred thousand things to see.**

(They're in Egypt when they pass Rishid working on a sphinx)

Bakura:

**Hold your breath it gets better!**

Ishizu:

**I'm like a shooting star,**

(She scares Rishid, who breaks the nose of the sphinx)

**I've come so far,**

**I can't go back to where I used to be**

Bakura:

**A whole new world**

(They go through a bunch of running horses)

**With new horizons to pursue**

Ishizu:

**Every moment red-letter!**

(She tries to pet a young one Takura's riding on, but it dies of running too much. They soon enter Greece)

Unison:

**I'll chase them anywhere,**

**There's time to spare,**

**Let me share this whole new world with you.**

(Bakura passes Ishizu an apple)

**A whole new world.**

Bakura:

**That's where we'll be.**

(They pass through a river)

**A thrilling chase.**

Ishizu:

**A wondrous place.**

Unison:

**For you and me!**

(They both cuddle while Takura is still following on a boat)

* * *

They landed in China, watching the festival, with fireworks popping, and people in their traditional dragon costume. Ishizu wanted Bakura to bust himself. "It's a shame Bazoo had tomissed this."

"Bazoo," Bakura said, while the carpet knew what she was trying to do "He doesn't like flying. He never did like fireworks either!" Bakura finally figured out what his stupid self said. "I mean…OH NO!"

"You are the boy from the marketplace," Ishizu yelled, pulling the hat off Bakura's head "I knew it! Why didn't you tell me?"

Bakura tried to see if the carpet would help but the carpet had no lips! "Well," Bakura said, beginning to lie "I go in disguise to escape palace life!"

"Why didn't you tell me though?" Ishizu asked again.

"Royalty going in disguise," Bakura scoffed "That sounds a bit crazy, don't you think?"

"Not that crazy!" Ishizu said, calming down and snuggling with Bakura.

* * *

Bakura returned Ishizu back to the palace while the commoners ran away. The two kissed and Ishizu liked it. But then it went to liking, to adoring, and then adoring to loving! Bakura pulled his face away, blushing dark red. Bakura fainted and Ishizu went to room, blushing as well. Bakura woke up quite fast but was tied up, thanks to Malik and the guards. "I'm afraid you've worn out your welcome, Prince Baka! Throw him where he shall never be found." Malik walked off while his men threw Bakura in the ocean. Bakura's hat dropped as well along with the puzzle. Bakura tried reaching it but there was a big metallic ball, chained to his foot! Bakura tried reached it but he passed out! His head rubbed the puzzle, setting Yami loose. Yami came out, scrubbing himself with a big bubble towel covering his 'privates' and butt. When Yami saw Bakura, Yami wasted Bakura 2nd wish and saved him!

"Yami," Bakura coughed "Thanks." Bakura needed a stunt double for saying thanks. Bakura returned, riding Yami back to the palace.

* * *

At the palace, Ishizu was blasting her radio and dancing. "Breathe, stretch, shake," She said "Let it go!" Yugi interrupted Ishizu. Little did Ishizu know, Yugi was hypnotized by Malik, who was standing behind the right door.

"Oh father," Ishizu said, gleefully "I had a lovely night. I'm so happy!"

"You should be happy," Yugi said "For you shall be wed to Malik!" Malik swung the other door open to reveal him. Ishizu gasped and Malik said,

"Speechless? A fine quality in a wife!" Ishizu ran to Yugi and whined,

"Father! That's incest! That's my brother, and plus, I love Baku!"

"I'm afraid Baku left!" Malik lied.

"Check your crystal ball again Malik!" Bakura shouted out from the corner.

"How in the heck…" Harpy screeched but remembered she had to act "I mean, SQUAWK!"

"Tell them Malik," Bakura said, quite furious "You tried to have me killed!"

"What ridiculous nonsense," Malik said, trying to hypnotize Yugi to believe Malik "He is obviously lying!" Bakura saw Malik's trick.

"Obviously…Lying…" Yugi said.

"What's wrong with you!?" Ishizu asked.

"I know what's wrong!" Bakura grabbed the rod and smashed it. Yugi came back to his senses and Bakura showed him what Malik was doing the whole time.

"You traitor! GUARDS!" Yugi yelled. Malik saw the puzzle and tried to get it but the guards came to take him away.

"This isn't done yet boy!" Malik threatened, throw a small potion to the ground. It smoked up the place and Malik got away!

"Find him! Search everywhere!" Yugi commanded. "This is horrible!"

Ishizu and Bakura were happy to be together again even though it was only 5 minutes! Ishizu whispered something in Bakura's ear, making him happy. Yugi saw the happy relation between the two (For the movie) and was saying how the kingdom would be peaceful with someone like him around.

* * *

In Malik's secret room, Malik was telling Harpy to steal the puzzle from Bakura.

* * *

In Bakura's room the next morning, Yami was begging Bakura to set him free but Bakura said he couldn't keep up the act by himself. Yami said that Bakura lies too much and went into his puzzle. Bakura got mad and yelled at his other friends, the carpet and Bazoo. They left, a bit sadly though. Bakura tried to apologize, but he wanted to set things right first. Harpy, disguised as a flamingo acted out Ishizu's voice.

"Bakura. Oh Bakura!"

"Ishizu?" Bakura stepped out his room but didn't see her "Where are you?"

"I'm out in the menagerie! Hurry!"

Bakura ran to Ishizu. Harpy had an admirer but she shot him! She stole the puzzle and carried it to Malik.

* * *

In the menagerie, Ishizu pushed Bakura out onto the stage outside in the middle of Yugi's speech to everybody in Agrabah. "Prince Baku Dorobo!" Everyone cheered while Malik from above in a tower was glaring down at them.

"Look at them, cheering on that pipsqueak!" Harpy said, disgusted.

"Let them cheer!" Malik said, rubbing the puzzle, releasing Yami. "Where's Joey?"

"He has diarrhea!" Yami said. He continued his act and started reading a book, looking at Malik "Tonight, playing Bakura is a tall, dark, and sinister man!" Malik grabbed Yami's hair and pulled him to the ground, stepping on his head.

"I am your master!" Malik said.

"I was afraid of that!" Yami said.

"Yami," Malik said, ready to make his wish "Grant me my first wish! I wish to rule on high, as sultan!"

* * *

Around the stage, a cloud spiraled above it and sucked up a tower. "Bless my soul!" Yugi muttered. His clothes started to come off him and go to Malik.

* * *

Takura and his security tried to hold back the rampaging fan girls!

* * *

"MWAHAHAHA!" Malik laughed.

"Malik, you vile traitor!" Yugi insulted.

"That's sultan traitor, to you!" Harpy corrected.

"I don't think so!" Yami said, looking into his but found nothing. "The puzzle!"

"Founders keepers," Malik said "Baku!"

Yami was in the form of a giant, lifting the palace onto a mountain. The people ran, screaming. Bakura jumped onto the carpet and flew up to Yami. "Hey you moron," Bakura insulted "What are you doing!?"

"Sorry Bakura," Yami apologized "I got a new master now."

"Malik," Yugi yelled "I order you to stop, this instant!"

"HA! There's a new order now," Malik said "My order! Now you will bow to me!"

Yugi started to bow but Ishizu shouted, "We will never bow to you!"

"Why am I not surprised?" Harpy asked.

"Fine," Malik spat "If you won't bow before a sultan, you'll cower before a sorcerer! Yami, my second wish, I wish to be the most powerful sorcerer, in the world! MWAHAHA!" Bakura tried to stop Yami but Yami granted Malik's wished. Marik replaced Malik with a pointier hat and a new rod. "Now where were we?" Marik asked himself then he looked at Yugi and Ishizu "Ah, yes, abject humiliation!" Marik shot a blast at the two and they bowed before him! Rajah tried to attack but Marik turned him into a cat! A song tune began to play! "Oh princess! There's someone I'm dying to introduce you to!"

"Get your hands off her Marik!" Bakura yelled, coming down on him.

**Prince Baku, yes it is you, but not as we know him!**

(Marik blasts Baku under his control like a puppet and brings Bakura and Ishizu together)

**Read my lips and come to grip with reality!**

**Yes, a meet, a blast from your past! Whose lies were too good to last! Say hello to your precious, Prince Baku!**

(Marik turns Bakura back into a beggar)

**Or shall we say, Bakura! **(_Harpy_)

(Bakura and Ishizu try to talk to each other but Marik pushes them apart)

**So Baku turns out to be merely Bakura!**

(Marik turns Bazoo back into a monkey)

**Just a con, need I go on? Take it from me!**

(Marik binds Bakura and Bazoo together in some red thingy)

**His personality flaws,**

**He gives me adequate cause,**

(Marik slaps Bakura and sends him to a tower)

**To send him, packing, on a one-way trip, **

(The carpet hops in as well)

**So his prospects take a terminal dip!**

**His assets froze,**

**The venue's chosen,**

**Is the end of the Earth, WHOOPEE!**

(The tower shoots off like a rocket)

**Ex-Prince, Baku!**

"MWAHAHAHA!" Marik laughed.

* * *

Takura-The next chapter is the last chapter! Thanks to:

**Molly-chan the Anime/Game fan**-Thanks for your reviews! Yami, I advise you hide in a closet before you die!

**Felidae**-Thanks!

**PHSYCO-Seto.freak**-I'm glad you're enjoying it! nn

**michievious-lil-kitsune**-I'm glad you like the songs! nn

**geminiprincess549**-I'm glad you think this is funny!

**Ruby-chan**-Thanks!

**Yami-Yugi3**-I'm glad you love it!


	9. FINAL CHAPTER!

Takura-BUM BUM BUM! It's the last chapter folks!

* * *

The tower landed somewhere in a snowy region. Bakura woke up on the snow, cold as ever! Bakura sat there and though he was doomed! "Ok Bakura," Bakura said to himself "Think about what Ryou said if I was ever stuck in harsh snowy weather." Bakura was thinking and one of the things Ryou said was, "Never eat yellow snow!" Bakura thought again and another popped up. "Never pee in cold weather! You'll regret it!" Bakura's eyes widen and he shuddered. He got up to look for Bazoo. Bazoo was lying under the snow. Bakura dug him up and put him under his vest. "This is my entire fault Bazoo," Bakura confessed while Bazoo muttered,

"Hell yeah it is!"

"I should've set Yami free when I had the chance! I'll set it right though!" Bakura was walking towards the tower until the carpet lifted up from under the snow. Bakura tried to pull the carpet out, but it was stuck underneath the tower as well! Bakura and Bazoo started to dig to get the carpet out but that was a bad move! The tower started to roll, but since Bakura was smarter than he looked, he ducked while one of the tower windows rolled over him, instead of the heavy tower! It frightened Bazoo a bit and the carpet was now free! They were now heading back to Agrabah to kick ass!

* * *

In the palace, Harpy was torching Yugi by stuffing those moldy crackers in his mouth. Marik was getting a kick out of it but when Ishizu begged him to stop, Marik commanded Harpy to stop. "It pains me to see you reduced to this Ishizu!" Marik said, creating a golden crown "You could be on the arm of the most powerful man in the world!" Marik offered. Ishizu was disgusted! She wanted to barf! "What do you say? My dear." Ishizu drank the wine she was supposed to splash in his face, so she punched him instead. He his and threatened to hit her but decided to wish for her to fall in love with him instead.

"Um sir," Yami interrupted "There are some quid-pro-quos, like…" Yami was grabbed by the hair and Marik was yelling at him face-to-face, literally!

"YOU WILL DO WHAT I TELL YOU, YOU STUPID IDIOT!" Marik insulted but Yami came back with,

"Yo mama!"

"My mom?" Marik scoffed "Yo mama so dumb, she failed a blood test!"

"Yo mama so stupid, I taught how to do the running man and I haven't seen her since!"

Ishizu rolled her eyes while the fight went on.

"Yo mama so ugly, I took her to the zoo and the monkeys asked how she got out so fast!"

"Yo mama so dirty, I told someone to take the garbage out and she moved!"

Bakura finally arrived through the window. Ishizu saw him and he told her to distract Marik. "Marik," She called out, putting the crown on "I've never realized how incredibly handsome you are!" Marik was enjoying this. He got closer to Ishizu, and demanded for her to go on with the compliments. Yami finally saw why Ishizu was doing this and he went to go talk to Bakura.

"Bakura, I can't help you," Yami worried "I work with the psychopath now! What are you gonna do?"

"I'm a street rat, remember? I'll improvise!" Bakura replied, sounding mighty confident. Bakura snuck up towards the puzzle while Ishizu distracted Marik. Harpy caught Bakura but Bazoo kept her mouth shut. When Bakura tried to get the puzzle, Harpy's cup full of fruits fell, making a loud ring. Marik tried to turn around but Ishizu kissed him, mouth-to-mouth. EW!! INCEST!

"That was…" Marik looked into Ishizu's crown and saw Bakura! "YOU!" Marik shouted, blasting Bakura back into a pile of gold. "How many times do I have to kill you boy!?" Ishizu tried to take the rod away but Marik pushed her away. Bakura charged in to take the rod away now. While he was struggling he commanded, "Get the lamp!"

"NO!" Marik pushed Bakura aside and trapped Ishizu in a giant hour glass! "Ah, ah, ah, princess! Your time is up!" Bakura tackled him afterwards.

"Nice shot Marik!" Harpy shouted until Bazoo hit her over the head wit the cup. Bazoo ran for the puzzle but Marik turned him into a toy.

"Don't toy with me!" Marik sneered. The carpet now tried but end up being turned into Sean John Jeans (Don't own). "Things are unraveling fast now boy!" Marik had the upper hand now! He saw Bakura trying to reach for it but a line of swords came down, blocking him. "Get the pointed?" Marik grabbed the puzzle. Bakura grabbed a sword and came towards Marik. Marik blew fire around him and yelled, "I'm only getting warmed up!"

"Are you afraid to fight," Bakura yelled back "You cowardly snake?"

"A snake am I?" Marik asked, floating through the fire, frightening Bakura a bit "Perhaps you'd like to see how snake-like I can be!" Marik then grew into a giant snake (Who was really electric snake).

"Aw crap!" Bakura muttered. Bakura dodged most of Marik's strikes and slashed him a couple times.

"Rikkem-Rakkem Rikkem-Rake! Stick that sword into the snake!" Yami cried, in a cheerleader outfit and a wig.

"You stay out of this-s-s!" Marik barked.

"Marik, Marik," Yami said, waving a little black flag "He's our man. If he can't do it, GREAT!"

Marik spotted Bakura running to Ishizu and striked again. It was more effective this time. Bakura fell and his sword flew out his hand, but that didn't stop him! He jumped on a jewel and rode it like a skateboard to get his sword back! Marik followed him off the balcony and Bakura had gotten the chance to stab him. Bakura left the sword and Marik while he screamed in pain. Bakura had gotten a piece of wood and tried to break the hour glass but Marik caught him and wrapped him up. "Could you please hurry up!?" Ishizu shouted "The sand is messing up my hair!"

"Wait," Takura pondered "Don't you live in a desert?"

"I just got the sand chunks out earlier though!" Takura rolled his eyes while Bakura and Marik didn't their little talk.

"Did you really think you could beat the most powerful being on Earth!?" Marik questioned. "Without Yami, boy, you're nothing!"

"Yami…" Bakura said, looking at the Yami, who was clueless on what to do! "Yami! Yami has more power than you'll ever have!" Bakura said, making Marik shocked. "He gave you your power, and just like that, he can take it away!"

"The boy's right," Marik muttered "His power does exceed my own. But not for long." Marik started circling around Yami while Yami tried to reason with him.

"A boy's a bit drunk! One, too many hits of the snake!"

"Yami," Marik called "I wish to be an all-powerful Yami!"

"Your wish is my command!" Yami said morosely, shooting his speck of power at Marik. Marik now turned into an all power Yami/genie! Bakura was set free and Bakura set Ishizu free. Marik was rampaging about his powers now.

"What the hell did you do!?" Ishizu asked.

"Trust me!" Bakura demanded. He saw the puzzle of light/Marik's new lamp appear and he ran for it.

"THE UNIVERSE IS MINE TO COMMAND, TO CONTROL!!"

"Not so fast Marik," Bakura shouted, catching Marik's attention "Aren't you forgetting something? You wanted to be a genie, you've got it!" Marik was trying to claw his way out from being sucked in but instead, he dragged Harpy in as well!

"Bakura you genius, you!" Yami complimented. Everything was now in order. Bazoo was a monkey again, the carpet was a carpet again, Rajah was a tiger now, and the palace was back to where it belonged!

Yelling came out of Marik's lamp. Yami threw Marik to the Cave of Wonders, while Bakura and Ishizu needed to talk. "Ishizu," Bakura groaned "I love you, but I can't pretend to be something I'm not."

"Bakura, you've got one wish left," Yami reminded "Just say the word and you are a prince again!"

"But what about your freedom?" Bakura asked.

"It's _only_ just a million years of servitude!" Yami said, and then he pushed Ishizu and Bakura together "This is love!"

"I'm sorry Ishizu." Bakura apologized.

"I understand." Ishizu said, about to cry.

"Yami," Bakura smiled "I wish for your freedom!"

"One bona fide prince pedigree coming up…What?" Yami asked.

"You're free!" Bakura said. Smoke and red zaps came out, giving Yami feet to walk on. Yami was celebrating, and bragging about seeing the world until he realized how Bakura was looking. His face was saying, "I'm happy you're free, but I'm sad about me and Ishizu." Bakura said,

"I'm going to miss you." Yami hugged Bakura (YAOI O.o) and said,

"No matter what they say," Yami said, crying. Bakura was also crying. "You'll always be a prince to me!" Yugi, wanting to be a life-saver like always, came through to announce,

"That's right! That law's the problem!"

"Father?" Ishizu looked down (n.n ::Snicker::) at Yugi, a bit puzzled.

"Am I Sultan or am I Sultan? The princess shall marry who she deems worthy!" Ishizu smiled and jumped for Bakura, but since Bakura didn't catch her, plus he dodged her, she jumped for nothing!

"I choose Bakura!" Ishizu said just hugging him. Yami wanted a group hug before he left for his world travel.

* * *

That night…

**A whole new world **(_Bakura_)

**A whole new life **(_Ishizu_)

**For you and me! **(_Both in unison_)

* * *

Takura hugged everybody (Except Joey) and thanked them for the special event! He seems to notice how Bakura and Ishizu weren't there.

* * *

Remember when Ishizu whispered in Bakura's ear last chapter? Well, they were getting it on! In the bed, bumping up and down (O.o Damn me and my details)! Malik came inand fainted. "Just ignore him and close the door!" Ishizu commanded. Bakura made a sign that said, 'Privacy Please' and locked the door.

"Now where were we?" Bakura giggled.

FIN!


	10. Author's Note

**Author's Note**

_This is Takura saying that There WILL be a part 2 to this called The Return of Marik! There will also be some editing to this fic as well. The second part won't have grammar mistakes or spelling errors. _

_Until then, Takura2004_


End file.
